Orlando's Greatest Hits. Part 2

The Magic Kingdom – Want to see a big massive grand fairy tale castle?! Try Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany (I’ve linkypoo’d that one for you incase you are curious). Ok I might be doing the castle at the Magic Kingdom a bit of a disservice. It is a lovely building but it is awfully tiny. I was quite underwhelmed when I saw it. But then again it’s a big building compared to little kids, and it’s aimed at them really isn’t it?

The majority of the rides are for children – Buzz Lightyear, Haunted Mansion, The Speedway and so on - but they are still great fun. It’s what you make of them. On the Buzz ride, for example, I was having great fun twizzling the ride vehicle around and around and around trying to make my fiancée vomit.

Unfortunately for me the main adult attraction was closed. Space Mountain was getting a much needed re-vamp. I was gutted. When I went on it as a kid it scared the living s**t out of me so I was looking forward to conquering it. It is scheduled to re-open in Winter 2009 (any time then). So hopefully when it does it will continue to put the fear of god into kids.

Rides to avoid. Wheel of Progress. It is about 20 minutes long with no escape. You have to listen to the same cretin in 4 different eras talking about how the world has technologically progressed. Honestly, it’s more fun dipping your hands in hot oil. Oh and then we have “It’s a small world.” Whoever came up with this one was probably sectioned not long afterwards. The f***ing song was bad enough but the creepy little dolls will scare the kids for weeks. Not believe me? Look at the picture. That’s not f***ing normal is it?! It takes a warped and disturbed mind to create that! Sweet dreams.

All in all, a cracking day out for the family.

Epcot – This place bored me as a child so I when planning my week I put it in between 2 fun days. Good call – pats self on the back. It is nearly exactly the same as when I was a kid. The only exceptions are Mission: SPACE, Soarin’ (I’ll only say this, utter utter bollocks. I can’t stress this enough) and GM’s Test Track (Oh an 8 seater car doing 60mph. I’ve never done that before. Crap), but we’ll get to that shortly.

Every other ride is the same. So therefore pretty much 15 years out of date. I would go as far as to suggest tearing the entire place down and starting again. The whole point of it is to be futuristic. It looks dated. Someone should tell Disney.

Mission: SPACE, this little bad boy put NASA’s own shuttle simulator to shame. It was brilliant. It has two different ride levels. Green for low intensity (cowards) and Orange for full intensity (men). You will feel a few G’s as it spins you around simulating a shuttle launch and don’t be too surprised to feel a tad dizzy as well.

Is Mission: SPACE worth the admission cost? Probably not. But if you have 7 or 14 day open ticket it is worth a few hours of your time. And the kids will love the fireworks in the evening too.

Next time... Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios.