Final Fantasy XIII

Firstly, I had a whole other review written for this. But after a few more hours worth of gameplay clocked up when I re-read it I decided it was inaccurate. Final Fantasy XIII tricked me. It wowed and possessed me. Like Michael Bay's Transformers, it promises so much and delivers little.

My main gripe is that I really couldn't give a hoot about the characters. In Final Fantasy VII I cared. I wanted them to do well, I wanted to know them. I cared about them all, well maybe not Cait Sith. With this I could quite happily kick Hope off a cliff, the phoenix down eating little sod and I would take great delight in ripping out Vanille's throat so I wouldn't have to listen to that irritating, wispy laugh of hers that drives me perilously close to insanity.

The story is also a letdown so far. There appears to be no tangible baddie. No focus or aim. There is no Sepiroth to my Cloud. No Vadar to my Luke. I couldn't even tell you what the aim of the story is yet and I’m close to 15 hours in.

Oh and quite possibly the worst thing is, even more so that drowning a sack of kittens, there is no victory fanfare!!! I nearly threw up after my first battle through sheer disgust.

For all its issues it is simply the best looking game on any format. Nothing comes close to looking this good. In full 1080p as well with no screen tearing. It makes you wonder how companies like Traveller's Tales and its LEGO franchise can get away with bloody great big rips through the screen when Square-Enix can produce something this gorgeous.

My sources tell me that the game really picks up after about 25 hours(ish) of gameplay. I do not doubt them. But I shouldn't have to wander through 25 hours of tediousness to get to something good.

6 out of 10.....so far.