Maxed Out Pubs, The Sky’s The Limit

Ah the affectionately named, ‘local’. I love my local. A sentiment echoed throughout Lewisham, the area I grew up in. But the local is getting further from my doorstep. Pubs are shutting at the rate of 5 per day in the UK.

Where I grew up, three pubs have closed for business in the space of a few months. One hang-er-on-er remains but the reality is biting home. Their once illustrious lounge now looks more like a big screen graveyard. At £1,200 a month, with the small print stipulating you have to sign up for two years, Sky’s astronomical bills are not getting paid.

Thus, my choices are whittled down to two rather average locals - one with a thriving cocaine racket, a modern day Noah’s Ark, semi-septum clients frequent the toilets in twos and the other a Wetherspoons, which hosts the who’s who of underage drinkers and down and outs - and here’s why:

(1) The smoking ban: Smokers need to smoke. Smokers don’t need frostbite while endeavoring to get their fix. Result: Smoke at home.

(2) Inflation: The breweries push up beer prices at will. In my teens I could buy six cans of beer for a fiver in the local off license, this is still the case 10 years on. In the same amount of time the price of a pint has almost doubled. Result: Drink at home.

(3) Parasite and host effect: The pub trade has lived off itself for a long time. While business was booming and money was being made, everyone got rich - Sky, the fruit machines, the brewers and the landlords. Now pubs are on their way out. Result: The filthy rats are jumping ship.

I’ve worked in pubs, I drink in pubs. Pubs are the epicenter of my social stomping ground, especially my local. Given the chance I’d probably live in one. In fact, one of my closest friends was trying to do just that. Over a pint, she finally admitted forlornly that her and her partner were giving up their ‘save the pub’ dream.

The numbers speak for themselves: The Sky price is based on your business rates, your business rates are based on the square footage of the pub, larger pubs have higher business rates hence higher Sky bills (you cannot cut Sky off when the football season finishes); parent breweries have the same pricelists for all tenants meaning pubs in the city will pay the same for their beer as ones in the suburbs (which is twice what you’d pay in a supermarket) - not fair when your pub is in the suburbs and you make very little margin on anything; not only do you need a TV license, you need two, one for the pub and one for the flat upstairs; you have to buy a public performance license to show live sport or bands; recycling costs £75 a month to be collected. You're looking at £8k a week just to break even on a pub that only takes £4k.

It’s a case of who can hold their head above water to be crowned the last pub standing… and laughing (all the way to the bank).

Save your local. Get drunk there tonight.